"DEATH" and "GOD"

Puzzled why is Amigo talking about GOD? Well but the first one "DEATH" proves that its me who is writing. Who else would even like to talk about the most obscure, irritating, frightening and sickening things in the world.

DEATH is as obvious as it could be. Everyone would have witnessed how painful its effect can be when it might have happened to someone we were acquainted with or our dear ones. One immediate and obvious thought which would strike to our minds is
"Why did GOD act so wierd?"

There were many instances I could quote and which you might have noticed or experienced too, when people question the existence of GOD or even sometimes declare "I WOULD NOT BELIEVE IN GOD ANYMORE!". Well so is that RIGHT or WRONG? Let me try if I can really handle this question.

I would put aside my agnostic feeling for a moment. I would like to clarify to everyone that being agnostic doesn't mean being an atheist. It is just that I would question his existence just as everyone does, like in the case I explained above. So talking practically everything happening in this world is controlled by humans as I never came across any supernatural wonder to believe else.

Birth or Life...is obviously human activity. And leading life Good/Bad is also definitely human activity. But the only supernatural activity where humans have no control is DEATH. Hence such an incident like DEATH should bolster the existence of GOD. Instead, most of us praise GOD, love him and believe him all our lifetime right since birth, for success and all the happiness in Life and ignore his existence during DEATH, perhaps the best example in all our lives to tell that GOD exists.

Now you think, why am I telling you all this crap? Because I know most of you believe GOD, and I also know that most of you become atheists when you fall into such incidents. Doing both is wrong, so stick to one of them.

Decide for yourself!!! THEIST or ATHEIST??? GOD or DEATH????

Suspects in Hyderabad Bomb blasts BUSTED

This is a sensational news to all of you. No where, no one could even find a clue to who was behind the Hyderabad serials blasts except speculation. But AMIGO comes with an evidence to expose the culprits behind the bombings. No where on the net can you find the information except here. So please do read it and also pass it on to every Indian you know...

Prologue:
Mumbai serials blasts, Delhi bombings, attack on parliament, Mumbai Local train disaster, Mecca masjid blast in hyderabad and now hyderabad serial blasts. Who is behind all this? Police and Intelligence agencies IRONICALLY "think" (I pity our RAW, why do this so called "Intelligence Agency" also has to speculate when it is meant to be intelligent) Lashkar-E-Taiba might have a hand in this or may be the ISI was involved with it. But then who was actually involved in the crime. Dawood? Chota Rajan?? Tiger Memon??? Bin Laden????

To know the name(s), read my blog.

13th of December, 2001.
I dont understand why doesn't it mark internation calendars, but it was a black mark in the history. A country with the highest population and largest democracy was attacked! It cannot be ignored so easily as it is equivalent to an attack on white house of USA. It was a high-profile attack by Pakistan based Kashmiri terrorists against the building housing the Parliament of India in New Delhi. Five gunmen infiltrated the Parliament House in a car with Home Ministry and Parliament labels. Mohammad Afzal who is convicted of being part of conspiracy is now sentenced to death by Indian court. But no execution till today. Indian Govt is also looking for processing his petition, begging for life.

11th of July, 2006.
The 11 July 2006 Mumbai train bombings were a series of seven bomb blasts that took place over a period of 11 minutes on the Suburban Railway in Mumbai (formerly known as Bombay), capital city of the Indian state of Maharashtra and India's financial capital. 209 people lost their lives and over 700 were injured in the attacks. According to the Indian police the bombings were carried out by Lashkar-e-Toiba and Students Islamic Movement of India. Many primary arrests were made and some of them are in the custody proven guilty. But no decision has been made yet about what to do with them.

18th of May, 2007.
On 18 May 2007, the old city area in Hyderabad, capital of the Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, experienced a bomb blast. The blast occurred inside the holy Mecca Masjid, located very close to Charminar. The blast was caused by a cellphone-triggered pipe bomb. Fourteen people were reported dead in the immediate aftermath, of whom five(official record:disputed) were killed by the police firing after the incident while trying to quell the mob. Arrests were made, but high pressure was pent up by the government to the law enforcement department demanding the RELEASE OF SUSPECTS, as it might trigger to religious riots, which finally yielded in favor of government.

This decision paid a very huge price now. I dont have to narrate what happend on 25th of August, 2007. The beautiful pearl city of hyderabad shook to the tremors of terrorism. This time the terrorists or better called barbarians killed more than 40 people in two serial bombings. Meanwhile terrorists in Pakistan and Kashmir celebrated their victory for killing innocent people. Probably they didn't know that even some muslims have lost their lives for no crime or for no reason. The question of who might have done this arised in everyones mind. But government played safe as it didn't want to indulge itself into the blame of religious bias and so left the decision to the people and promising ex-gratia to the deceased families.

Dont even dare to imagine this kind of stance from any other government. America would have waged a war by now, and the GULF countries would have executed the chopping off vital organs or beheadthe suspects by now. But for the same people we think twice, thrice and sometimes even give up thinking.

Before I announce the name(s) I would like to put a test to your acumen. Who do you think is responsible for all these terrorist activities? If you think its because of the rise of terrorism in India, you are WRONG. Its the government to be blamed for the growth of such activities. Which government that has its wits would set free accused persons in crime, FEARING THAT THE PARTY MIGHT COLLAPSE DUE TO LACK OF VOTES? Is it not the responsibility of a fair government to take the social welfare of its people? How can it even think of giving a person accused with the charges of attacking the parliament one more chance to LIVE? All these acts have rooted faith in the minds of some deranged people that we can get away from law whatever might be the intensity of the crime. In case of "war against terrorism" the saying "An eye for an eye leaves the world blind" doesn't hold good. Instead "An eye for an eye is the only EYE-OPENER" for the people to look at a better world with faith on law enforcement. So have you concluded that the government is the suspect? Please dont make that mistake. I haven't given out the name yet. It might be slightly shocking for you but please take the names seriously.

The people involved in all the above mentioned crimes are YOU and ME. Your eyes didn't cheat you, you are right when you read YOU and ME. We elect the government. We vote for the political party that has our religion leaders, caste leaders or region importance. We tangle their hands in tight situations like all those mentioned above saying that "You cant do this to our religion/caste/region person, Only you can save him now, else we will no more vote for you". What kind of an act is that? How do we expect justice and law to live in our country when the country men itself are taint? Or some intellectuals safely try to keep away from the mess saying "This is the reason we keep away from politics and do not vote at all". This group is to be blamed more then the terrorists. Being a literate they dont try to understand how important is it to vote for a national leader. They turn to be a bigger threat than a terrorist.

Every ballot paper that WE either crumple on the ground or VOTE for a bad government from our hands is thrown back at us as a bomb. We dont seem to realise that, we are responsible for all this and instead look to put the blame on some nameless organizations. It is our duty to see that the accused are punished and responsibility to let the government carry out the process leaving aside caste, creed and religion feelings. This is not an advice, its a final call to all of you before the police starts looking for you. Remember, I have exposed the names, you and I have very less time to react now...

Homage: Dedicated to all the innocent people who have laid down their lives due to the insane acts of some barbarians. I dont want the suspects to know the price of an innocent life, instead would like to buy their lives at the same cost or even for a bargain at which the take the lives of innocent.

Journey through the USA

Smiles from AMIGO: For all those who felt, "AMIGO is SICK, this guy sucks, he has no sense of humor, he seems like a grave guy, he perhaps doesn't know how to SMILE" --- here is "A small effort to see giggles on your face". I'm sharing realtime experiences from most of the FOBs (What is this FOB? Dont worry you will know it soon). Not to be partial, I've included my experiences too.

Owing to the eternal length of this post, I would be posting each chapter in some intervals of time. Dont worry readers, I hope it wont be too much ineteresting as "Da Vinci Code" or "Angels and Demons", but I'll try my best to keep the suspense.

Prologue: The story revolves around a guy named "PENTAPADU VENKATA SAI SUBHRAHMANYA SARMA" (Lets call him Subbu for short, too long to type). With eyes filled with Dreamz of the "land of the oppurtunites" and all the ambitions flowing down his nerves, he is waiting for August 19th. Its the day he is leaving to USA. Knowing that he wouldn't return anyway, he candidly lied to everyone that he would surely come back after his masters as he was inspired seeing the movie "Swades". Lets share his journey vicariously enjoying the seat beside him on board the airbus. So fasten your seatbelts readers!!!


Journey through the USA

The Missed-Flight experience

Hyderabad, 19th August, 2006

The rush at the airport was floating. No one was allowed inside the airport owing to the attempted terrorist attack on the British Airways. "Subbu chuck out the toothpaste, deodarant ad the lip gel from your cabin bag. No gels allowed on Board!", shouted Dad. I immediately tucked them into my other overflowing bags. I wasn't embarrassed to open them, as many of them were doing the same at the airport. To spend the last few precious hours with my family and everyone who came to gimme a send off, I switched off the mobile and gave it to my sis. She waited for this moment from an year. Finally it was my turn to check-in, with watery eyes, I waved my hands to everyone out there as I could hardly recognise my parents due to the haze in my eyes.

I started talking with some of my co-passengers who were also going for the first time to USA. After a long wait, we boarded the flight and mine was a window seat. Every girl who boarded the flight, I wished she would sit beside me, but luck never favoured. But soon, thanks to my stars a damn hot chic came to my seat, looked at me, then to my seat number and said "Hello! Excuse me, you are sitting in my seat.", with a fluster I was looking for my ticket which I tucked deep down in my trousers. Soon the air hostess came and cleared the confusion by saying that her seat was the one behind mine. The girl turned away leaving behind an air of arrogance.

Within a few minutes the flight took off with a big roar and as the flight started loosing its contact on the ground, I was feeling as if a child being pulled away from his mother. I closed my eyes tightly as water dripped from them. Suddenly I heard voices inside the flight deafening even the roar of the flight engine. I strained my ears to figure our what they were exclaiming. I thought I heard that word sometime before...

"ZIHAAAD"...yes OSAMA BIN LADEN. Oh my GOD, the flight has been hijacked....

With a jerk I opened my eyes and saw an elderly person right before my face. "Had a good nap?", he asked dusting off his coat, I was actually resting on his shoulder till then. "Yeah! I am sorry about it" I said, for which he just smiled. For an instant I thought that I was actually in a theater and was dreaming. "What a nerd am I? Its dark outside.." I told myself, happy that I have boarded the plane. A bumpy Volvo bus ride from Hyderabad to Vizag would have been a lot better than this. It was like arresting with my limbs tied up to the seat. With some slight conversation with the person sitting next to me, I killed time and landed in Frankfurt, Germany.

Frankfurt, Germany. STILL 19th August

It was 7:00A.M when I landed and the bad breath from my mouth forced me to shut my mouth so as not to pollute the air and also reminded that its time for brushing. So I immediately headed up for the restroom. I was searching for the toothpaste in the front pockets of the bag but in vain. Now people started giving weired looks at me. I deserved them as I was making a mess ransacking my bag in the restroom for toothpaste. Then I remembered that I took it out owing to security concern. Left with no other choice, I bought another toothpaste for 8Euros only to leave it back safely in the trash bin as I was not allowed carry any pastes or gels in my cabin bag. Calculating the cost of toothpaste back in INR (INDIAN RUPEE), I felt brushing my teeth for one day is not worth it. But for the sake of co-passengers, not to frighten that I was carrying some poisonous gases with me, I had to go for it.

By the time I came back to join my queue for the terminal C, I was shocked to see so many people ahead of me. I can no way make it to my flight as I'm left with just 30mins for check-in, but it would take atleast 1hour to make it through the queue. The security screening was very tight due to some suspicious terrorist activity in London flights. I felt like Nostradamous for my bloody dream come true. So successfully I missed my flight to Philadelphia, USA. Tension pented up in my mind. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I was shaking in my shoes...

As I always say to myself," you are never alone in this world", I garnered some friends just like me, who missed their flights. One angry young man among us, lead us from the front just like some scene from a Bollywood gangster movie. With full rage he started blasting on the ground staff of the airlines blaming them for missing our flight. Out of them one fat lady stepped out, I immediately backed off fearing the worst. She shouted "Calm Down! Sir. The airlines is not responsible for you missing your flight." I was saying to myself that this man is going to screw my chances of taking an alternate flight with his temper. I stepped forward and said "We are sorry maam!", just like we apologise to our lecturers in college which I've done for 4 years. Instead of she being polite to me with double the anger, she said "Step back Sir. I'm having a conversation here, dont you See!!". I thought had enough, I might have to spend the rest of my life in Frankfurt.

But after a proper brain wash, this lady issued us tickets to some alternate flight. This time I waited in the queue for boarding for almost 3 hours ensuring that I'm not missing a flight again. Finally I boarded the flight to Philadelphia chasing my "WILD AMERICAN DREAM".

In-flight to Philli, Time: ...variant :-)

Luck is just not with me. Even this time I was not privileged to have a hot chic beside me. After the flight took off, the food was served. Not having seen that dish in my lifetime, I enquired with the hostess what was it. To my horror that was meat. I said, "I am a vegetarian and can you please replace this with something Veggie for me". She said, "Sorry Sir. You have to let us know about your meal when you confirm your tickets". Ugh! Now I understood that I haven't just missed my flight but also my Asian Vegetarian Meal, AVM as it is called. Then came a striking suggestion from that young lady. She said, "What you can do is, put the meat aside and eat the rest." and smiled sweetly. I smiled back to her, handed the tray back to her and smiled "Thank you". With a scorn she walked away.

But within minutes she was back with some raw lettuce, onions and tomato salad. "All that we have for vegetarians is this. This is the food provided for one of our air-hostess, but she wanted you to have this instead." I thought..wow...who is this air hostess so caring to me. But as soon as I started eating, I soon realised this is no better. But I was in such a tight spot that I can't even throw this as it might offend the air-hostess who sacrificed her food for me. I was forced to push that raw food into my mouth. For the first time I felt myself like a goat.

It was such a boring day flight. There was sun light for more than 9 hours with us for we were traveling towards the west. And for us to enjoy the stupid dramatic in flight movie, we had to pay for the headphones too. So I had no option other than forcing myself to sleep all the time. Finally after all that wait I was in Philadelphia...."Welcome to USA!", I said to myself.

Since Philadelphia was the first place I've landed in USA, that becomes my port of entry. That means I have to go for the customs clearance. Which means I have to pick up all my luggage and go till my gate as it cannot be connected. When I wanted to take a luggage cart, what caught my eyes was the $3 sign board. "Do I have to pay for luggage carts?". It is free in India isn't it? My desi brain, known for its Math, quickly calculated the equivalent amount in Indian rupees and instantly dropped the idea of a cart. I've decided to drag the bags myself.

Soon people were talking about the congestion at the Gates 11-13, terminal C. Subbu strikes again. Yes it was me who was the cause as I was trying to drag those large suitcases in between the queue lines, crushing few feet, dashing some carts. I was actually getting delayed for my connecting flight to Boston and caught up amidst all this mess. Out of frustration I tried to pull my bags that were stuck in between. Suddenly something just popped out. Oops they were my bag's stroller wheels. As already expected I was to miss my flight to Boston also. But guess what...This time I wasn't afraid. I probably got used to it.
(To be cond.....)

Castigating MEDIA

MEDIA HAS LOST ITS ETHICS!
MEDIA IS NOT GATHERING NEWS BUT MAKING NEWS!
MEDIA IS AGAINST POLITICAL PARTIES
MEDIA LEVITATES PERSONAL TIDINGS
MEDIA HAS LOST ITS VALUES...



Had enough of these statements didn't we? Its true that they have lost their moral values. There is no reason why do they publish every damn thing that happens around the world. Everything is a sensation to them. Elevating the minute common incidents that happen in the lives of celebrities, they have set the trend to the tone of flattery even for basic human responsibility. A clear example for this, a stinking rich person donating Rs.10,000/- (often to get rid of black money), or a Cine star who would seldom donate blood managing blood banks with the blood of his fans. I dont understand why should anyone consider them as heights of generosity? Is it not the responsibility of every person? Is everyone donating money to the poor becoming cynosure in the eyes of media?

If we have to talk about the un-necessary and often raunchy coverages that come daily in the news channels and papers, I can go on and on. Relentless efforts of the news channels have popularised MMS clips lot more than they would have actually gained. No one understood why should they even show the clipping on the television sets. Was that really an eye-opener? But my question "is there any need for the change in present MEDIA"? Lets have an deep look...

Why should the MEDIA not be COMMERCIAL and loose its ethics? After all that is what all of us wanted. Surprised, but yes. Why do anyone read a News paper or watch the News Channel? For reviving the community? To purge the dirty politics? To witness a murder they have closedly watched and the police are bogging their minds investigating? To extend a helping hand to the person's family who died in an accident? To harmonize the communal riots? Atleast shed a tear which doesn't cost a penny? NO

MEDIA is treated as just one more sort of entertainment. We watch NEWS channels for entertainment. We read NEWS for entertainment. We prefer NEWS channels that can cover all the commercial elements. The News papers and channels that elevates the personal grduges between two political leaders, as if it was a battle ground, are rated best. The TRP ratings are a clear indication of this. Ironically we complain about the raunchy clippings, violence, crime watches that give innovative ideas for criminals to commit crimes, but only those channels or papers haved been rated on top of the charts.

So what is the Viewer's perspective of MEDIA? MEDIA is a great source of Real-Entertainment. We take pleasure in reading the verbal fights between politicians, whom we have elected with out franchise. We love to know the degrading gossips about the cinema industry which purely is living on the crumbs thrown by us. We curse our system for the communal riots. We abuse our police for delaying the where abouts of a culprits. We see our hero in a factionist who hacked hundreds of people. We feel relieved that the local goons haven't yet demanded money from us.

We are used to complain about the very short Life-period of NEWs. Today's sensational news will no where be seen or heard in any of the 20 NEWS channels available tommorow. But what else can we expect from them? The size of News paper is limited to just 24-30 pages. When there is sonething happening at every corner of this world, we cannot expect them to publish a book for that reason.

This is what we do reading a News paper. For the benefit of entertainment of a subscriber, do you think the MEDIA should work on improving their morals? If yes is your answer justify your answer with a reason....

Life Cycle of a Software "ENGINEER"

Disclaimer: The word MNC here refers to the companies that had their inception in India. Companies like Apple, Microsoft, Intel, SUN and any other company that falls under the same league is not to be treated as MNC here in this blog. The names of the Indian companies that you might see are only for the sake of an example. However there is no personal offence to Indian based companies or its management. My apologies if it might hurt anyones feelings. Advised not read below if you are an employee of the organization and are also in Love with it.

As I look back 6 years, I remember how the Electronics has overtaken the Computer engineering stream in India. Till then it was the dream of everyone in India to take up B.Tech in CS. But suddenly no one was opting for CS. For Good Or Bad, that change of wave helped me get a seat in Computer Science Engineering. Though not much acquainted with the field initially, I had a dream of what I would be doing in CS, very very vaguely. Infact I always wanted to do Mechanical Engineering and I was also ready with my own design of a car. But you never get what you wanted, thats life. So I was content with what I got.

But what I expected proved to be wrong. A computer science student in India, would hardly require to know how a computer works! True. I didn't know where and what a RAM is atleast till when I bought a PC. Somehow managed to learn some stuff. Owing to several factors, like my college environment and University curriculum, I have finally found out that a computer science engineer, do not have to design a new OS, he doesn't have to decide which is the best algorithm, he doesn't even need to come-up with a new Database of his own nor does he need to patent his ideas. All he needs is a clean record of B.Tech, and a good aggregate. But why does he need it? TO "GE(B" read in reverse)T a JOB in a MNC.

Is this just the start? Alarmingly NO. This is the end too. The computer science engineer actually takes the turn of his life into a SOFTWARE ENGINEER after he gets a job. Believe me I never knew the difference before but thats true. You are no more a computer science engineer. All that you would be doing is the same stuff as told in Software Engineering. One team designs, other team develops, then testing, maintainence etc. After starting with a mediocre salary range you will soon go to a lucrative package. But then whats new you would be doing? Till then you will be doing stuff all by yourself, and then later you will be supervising a team. In other words you will be paid for relaxing and putting pressure on your juniors. If it seems to be quite tempting to a non-CS student, dont get dejected for having chosen the wrong field. I bet anyone is capable of doing a Software job after the kind of training the companies give. But is this what Computer Science is? No. This is just Software Engineering.

Everyone who feels that India is booming in Computer Science, wake up. India is just taking up projects given by some other foreign companies and living on the crumbles that they are throwing. No Indian company has reached the standard of designing a new language though we boast of the best programmers we have. For Good I'm waiting for the day US will STOP OUTSOURCING. My intention is not to see INDs starving. But I want them to become self sufficient. I hope atleast in that situation the IT scenario in India might change.

Apart from all these, what really bothers me is that all the four years of Computer Science Engineering becomes waste. You are taught Principles of Programming, Object oriented programming, Theory of computation, Networking, Artificial Intelligence, Graphics, Operating systems and many other subjects. But you eventually leave them in thin air. All you learn is JAVA, .NET and SAP.

Benefits of a Software job:
1) Good Pay (white collared pay for a blue collared work) and if lucky enough might go abroad for on-site development. It can be Nigeria, Algeria, USA or even Pakistan and Iraq.
2) AC room and no field work. But it takes more than a sweat when you dont deliver the project on time to the client. More fun will be when he sues in the court of law.
3) Girls/Boys respectively. You get them easily. The opposite sex will easily be attracted to you either seeing your purse or due to the proximity to commute to the same company. I dont say that there will not be love, but I wont accept that it can be TRUE LOVE.
4) The best you would get is you will have all the skill that is required to be a good MBA in HR, as you will know how to get the work done by the staff. But unfortunately degree will not be awarded.

Adversities of a software job:
1) Declining eye sight, arthritis, spondylitis etc. Dont worry, your company cares for you and they have medical re-imbursement for it. So be prepared.
2) Anger, frustration, mental tensions, due to the pressure from superiors and clients.
3) As you loose touch with the real subjects in computer science, it will be impractical for you to go with the technology. For them technology means new trends like a new language or database or package or at the max a new platform that was required by the Client. But it would have released 5 years earlier, who knows?
4) Finally, you wont be what you are. You are no more a computer scientist. You are a software engineer.

Now tell me. I wanted to know which among them is the best choice. TCS, Infosys, Wipro, Satyam, HCL? Actually ..... i've been placed (recruited)....;)

PS:- Dont forget to leave your comments. You wont be cursed anyway.

If GOD appeared before me...

I woke up when everyone slept. I had the wildest dream ever and was perspirating. I was yelling aloud, but I hardly could hear my own voice. My small trembling hands touched my Mom's hand, and she opened her eyes. I think I was 3 and 1/2 years old or may be even 4. I said "Mom, I am afraid!". Startled, she looked at me trying to understand my low and incoherent words. Instead of spanking me which she did ever since I grew up, she kissed my forehead and asked me "What happened dear?". I re-collected the story, she told me, about the eerie Rag-Picker (boochi) who came with a big bag to abduct me if I didn't eat my dinner. I added, "I could see him right beside me near the bed". My mom smiled at me and said, "dont worry, do you see the pciture of GOD there on the wall? He will be watching all the time. Pray to him and he will kick the boochi out of the house". My heartbeat almost stopped. Till then I was thinking it was only the rag-picker who was watching. I obeyed her instantly and joined my hands together and bowed my head without even trying to uderstand what it meant. I was taught to do this probably right since my birth. This is my first encounter with this person....."GOD".

I never tried to understand what kind of a person he was. Is he there to protect or instil fear or punish or to kill? He was never with me. Everyone even among my friends in school used to say, "Dont ever tell a LIE, God will punish you". It was hard on me to remember so many names Krishna, Allah, Jesus, Rama, Guru nanak (yes I believed he was god too) etc. I thought why are they so many to watch me when I tried to steal a cookie from the kitchen or buy an ice-cream.

It was the time of my first standard exams. My Dad asked me to pray to GOD and I would perform well in exams. I recited all that I could and set off to school. To my amusement the results came and I topped. For the first time, I could feel the power of GOD. From then I inculcated this new habit of praying before my exams. In my Sixth standard we all went to tirupathi. After we reached there I was told by my sis, who was taunting at me, that I would be tonsured soon. My heart sank. I went to my mom and confirmed the news. I broke into tears and pleaded please dont shave my hair. She told me seriously "Your Dad has decided to offer your hair to GOD. If we dont obey GOD, he will punish you". I felt who the heck is this person is GOD, Who takes money, animals, coconuts and unfortunatey hair too. Tears rolled my eyes thinking of all my friends and girls in my class, who would be calling me names. But I could'nt express my anguish. Not that I couldn't, if I would, GOD will punish me.

It was my 8th standard exams and I haven't studied anything for the finals. But I followed my Dad's advice and prayed to god and set off to school. Amazingly, I FAILED. This was the time I first questioned myself. Does GOD really exist. Right since my childhood, I've heard a lot about this virtual person among us from various sources. But the truth is I have mis-interpreted the name of that virtual person. It is not GOD, it is BELIEF. The reason behind my good grade in my earlier classes was effort and the reason for failure is lack of effort. I felt as if I was enlightened. But the belief that grew in me didn't die so soon. Though I was trying to be agnostic, I couldn't as the fear inside me dominated. I feared for the aftermath of ignoring GOD. Of course I was studying well from later on as I now understood whats the driving force and secret of success. I did pretty well in my acads. This slightly boosted my confidence level to become OVER-CONFIDENCE.

As a result, I didn't perform well in my IIT entrance as well as EAMCET. Also I was down with typhoid for over a month right before exams. Me questioning the existence of GOD being the reason for all this seemed stupid to me. I covered up saying to myself that my ill-health being the reason for all this. That seemed like a good reason to many. But thats just an excuse. So I dropped the plan of me being an atheist completely. But still questioned his existence to myself on many occasions. But still continued to pray to him only before my exams and before my results. I won many things in my life and I continued to loose many things too. Still I sway with my idea of being an atheist. But seriously, I would like to be strong minded.

I came to USA, the land of oppurtunities. Land of Uncle Sam. It is ruled by just two things "DOLLAR KING AND THE SEX QUEEN". But this country has stolen my confidence. All I do in my life is think of my scintillating past. I dont have my friends or my family here. All the loved ones are away from me. God is still watching. God is watching all of us. God is watching everyone in this world....Sielently, Stagnant, Stinking

If God Appeared before me now......